Last week, I had to stop watching a ladies Wimbledon match because I couldn’t stand the noisy grunts made by one of the players. Why do some players feel the need to grunt every time they hit a ball? Ping-pong players don’t do it and neither do squash, nor badminton players as far as I recall. Snooker players certainly don’t grunt and can you imagine marathon runners grunting their way through 26 miles!
Do the coaches or sports psychologists put them up to it? Does grunting release all their inner tension into the ball? Does it maximise their performance? Do grunters win more games than non-grunters? Are there stats for grunting?
If it does prove to enhance performance can we expect it to spread to other sports? Perhaps the government should commission a study – maybe we could grunt our way out of this recession.
Will it be only a matter of time before management gurus introduce grunting into the workplace?
Office workers could start each day with a grunt meeting, bricklayers would surely build walls faster by grunting every time they lay a brick. Will it spread to supermarket checkouts – a grunt to speed every item scanned through the till. Should staff in call centres grunt each time they answer the call? (Wait a minute, that may already be happening!)
Oh well, I’m going to stop grumbling and start grunting – watch this space and please tell me if it improves my blogging. Ugh!